Historie Fandomium RHPS
by Cececat
Summary: A parody of the Ancient Roman style of nonfiction. Romans had a habit of making up elaborate and highly unrealistic origin stories for things. So I've done the same for RHPS. Hopefully it's funny. Among other things, the god Dionysus is a fan/patron. And all the actors have "fake-Latin" names. (Please Read/Review!)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: This is a joke of sorts. I'm _not_ taking it seriously. It's a satire of Ancient Romans (who I adore). You see, they liked making things up that sounded cool. If they hated an emperor they wrote that he slept with his sisters and killed random people - even if he never did such things. And if they like him - or _he_ liked propaganda - then they'd do things like claim he was divine and all that jazz. **

**Legendary people Romulus and Remus were said to be the twin sons of the god Mars, for example. And Augustus claimed to be a descendant of Venus.**

 **So that's how I'm writing this. As if I were a historian telling about actors. A Roman historian would make up a lot of nonsense. Hopefully it's fun (and not seen as offensive)...**

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The tale of how the _Fandomium RHPS (_ which here stands for _Rabidus Horrendus Populus Societas)_ began starts with three people...

One is a man called Richard Octavius. He lived in a far-away land called New Zealand. Like any glorious hero of an epic, his heritage was divine. His Father was secretly the god of music, Apollo.

As a kid he watched many badly-made films in movie theaters. Later these inspired him to write his most wonderful musical. Though he was a mere, simple farmboy when this epic story of Rock n' Roll theatre begins...

One day, the God Apollo appeared. This probably creeped him out somewhat, since that doesn't happen as much these days. Though it meant he was destined for greatness. Why else would a god appear?

"You should go to Londonium to enter show business, boy. A farmer's life isn't for you."

Richard Octavius couldn't help but agree. Being a farmer was very dull. So he packed his things and sailed for Londonium.

The boat he sailed on spent many days at sea. The mystical land of New Zealand was far from civilization. The others on the ship were all sort of bored so he sang songs for them. This cheered them all quite well.

Once he got to Londonium and tried to become an actor it turned out that Octavius was such a common name he needed to change it. So, he became Richard Brianillus.

Alas, he struggled with his work. It was hard to get a job as an actor – even for he! There he worked and hoped for a good role. Oh! If only the _Fandomium RHPS_ could've seen him then, they would've wept.

Soon he was an out of work actor. It was the first year of the seventh decade of the 21st century that he began to work on his _Magnum Opus_. Yes, that which is called _Rocky Horror_. Songs were written out of order. Much work was put into the creation of it. Yet he continued to write his musical!

Humble as he was he didn't brag of this work. Nay, he thought little of it. Soon this masterpiece was complete…

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In Belfast, Northern Ireland a young woman lived. She too was destined to become an actor most glorious. Her name was Quinta Patricia. In the decade of the 20th century she too moved to Londonium. There she worked hard to become an actress of both stage and television. Her beauty – which rivaled Helen's! – and her lovely personality helped with this.

The lovely Patricia liked to have fun and was a favorite of Dionysus. Though she didn't know this, as people rarely do.

Somehow, she became friends with Richard Brianillus. This led to her getting involved in his musical. Such a friendship wasn't true coincidence. No, Dionysus helped push things along…

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Another person important to the glorious founding of the _Fandomium RHPS_ was Laurilla. This was a girl – called Laura at birth, "Laurilla" is a diminutive of "Laura" making her name basically "Little Laura" – who lived in Londonium, too. Though she'd grown up in Australia and been a swimmer before her wondrous tap dancing became legendary to the _Fandomium RHPS_.

The god Dionysus also liked Laurilla, though she knew it not. So he secretly influenced her to street-perform – busk – where the casting people might see. This is how she became a part of _Fandomium RHPS_.

Dionysus was very much into _Rocky Horror_. As were most of the Gods! This is why it's such a wonderful idea.

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 **Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own... something. The history of RHPS...?**

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 **A/N: Yay! REVIEWs! Thank you guys ( Guest and FireandBloodandKittens) so much for reading this. Hopefully this chapter is good.**

 **I had some much fun with making all the names sound Latin. Though it made me realize I basically re-named Patricia Quinn 'five [female] patricians'. Patricia's a word, not a name, in Latin... I think. And Quinta is actually a first name - the more correct form would probably be 'Quintina'. Most of the names are just made up, though, and don't even sound that Roman.**

 **Also, I don't hate Tim Curry. To me he's Marcus Antonius - considered a brat a betrayer by many thanks to propaganda. Curry being in the remake upsets people. Marcus marrying Cleopatra was a huge deal. Though neither were actually bad. I'm doing what real Roman Historian would do. That is, I'm claiming that he's done something weird/sexual that makes no sense. I don't _actually_ think he's slept with his mother, this is a parody...**

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One day, in the year 1973, Richard Brianillus told a friend of his (Jim Sharmus, aged 28 at this point) about his musical. After hearing a few of the songs Sharmus decided he liked it and wanted to have it performed in the Royal Court Theatre Upstairs. This was great and honorable, yet Brianillus didn't become prideful. He was humble as ever – to the joy of Dionysus, who patronized him, and his father Apollo!

Now, Sharmus wasn't the only one added to the project then. Other great persons appeared at this stage. This included Brianus Thomsus (later Brianus Thomsus Movenspictrus, designer), Blamia Sue (maker of costumes), Michael Albus (later Michael Albus Movenspictrus, producer) and Richard Hartlus (also called Richard the Lesser, later called Richard Hartlus Movenspictrus, arranger of music).

Blamia Sue would later go one to design clothes for the Great Triumph in 1975. The _Fandomium RHPS Plebs_ later invented one of their sacred ritualized jokes about her. A play on her _gens_. Since the name 'Blamia'' resembles the word 'blame' when spoken aloud, one segment of the Noctispictura Ritual involves the 'Sue's to blame' pun.

Timon Currianus (later Tim Currianus Traditorio) ended up cast as the villain, a crossdresser from outer space. This character is considered most iconic and a bit uncomfortable to be associated with. So, as his cognomen implies, he later betrayed the _Fandomium RHPS_ out of disgust for this. He betrayed us – and his alleged rival, the great Brianillus – for somewhat sympathetic reasons. Like Marcus Antonius (who turned Egyptian when he nedded to be Roman) some have pitied him. But I, the historian Cececata and member of the _Fandomium RHPS_ , will never forgive nor even pity him...

Legend does say Currianus bedded his own mother on more than once occasion. This was shocking, of course, and very wrong. Such behavior proves he was not only like his fiendish character but also not one that should be honored by the _Fandomium RHPS_. He was not Oedipus, for Currianus knew that his lover given birth to him, so therefore he can't be forgiven – not that Oedipus really could. So intense was his lust for his mother that he modeled his character's speech after her 'telephone voice'.

As was the plan of Dionysus, television actress Quinta Patricia ended up cast as the character 'Magenta' – sister to the character Brianillus played. Though her agent warned that it might ruin her career she mercifully ignored such advice. This pleased the gods, who knew that she'd play her role perfectly.

The last to be cast was young Laurilla. They needed somebody to play 'Columbia'. Alas, nobody who seemed right auditioned. Then the sunlight shone in Sharmus' eyes, making his turn away… and see Laurilla tapping outside the theatre. Thanks to Apollo's slight intervening they'd found Columbia!

Other people auditioned for lesser roles. These included one called Christopher Malcolmus (later Christopher Malcolmus Theatrillus) as Brad Majors, Covingta Julia as Janet Weiss, Jonathan Adamus (later Jonathan Adamus Movenspictrus) as the Narrator, and Paddy Haganillus (later Paddy Haganillus Theatrillus) as Dr. Scott/Eddie.

As you might know, Jonathan Adamus Movenspictrus later became Dr. Scott in the Great Triumph. He died, tragically, in the year 2005. Still nobody has granted him the status of a 'god' and it's believed that only Brianillus or perhaps Quinta that will be honored in such a way. Though they're both living – and hopefully will be for many years – and it's very ambitious to accept divine status while still alive.

Rehearsals went on for much time at the Royal Court Theatre. The glorious masterpiece went by many working titles. These included _They_ _Came From Denton High_. By June 1973 the first previews happened. When it officially opened at the Royal Court Theatre Upstairs it was called _The Rocky Horror Show_.

There were few props and nearly no budget. Yet something about this little play captured the attention of many.

Though he approved of only about five actors (Brianillus, Quinta, Laurilla, Currianus, and Adamus), Dionysus was pleased. There was a party atmosphere to it and a great enthusiasm. Being the god of partying, hedonism, and related concepts meant this little play was just up his alley. Though it wasn't only gods who liked it. Ordinary humans adored it. Tickets sold out quickly.

Sharmus knew they had a hit. Brianillus the Humble didn't get _too_ excited about this, opting to not make a big deal about his gloriousness. Even after they'd gotten a record deal with he didn't become proud. Never would the great Richard Brianillus fall prey to hubris!

The first official soundtrack for the _Fandomium RHPS_ was made in less than 24 hours. It was made quickly and ended up seeming somewhat tacky – in the best way possible. Record producer Jonathan Rexius and Michael Albus Movenspictrus produced it.

And so began the _Theatrum_ stage of the _Fandomium RHPS_.

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 **Please Review!**

 **A/N: If you ignore the Romanized names and obviously fake stuff (Curry screwing his mom, Dionysus, etc) it's somewhat educational. I've been trying to do some legit research.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So... if "Richard Brianillus" seems like a Mary Sue that's fine. What makes this style of writing so ridiculous is that it's so biased. Would you ever say something bad about an emperor you looked up to? No! Especially if he could have you executed. So that's why Brianillus - the closest thing this tale has to Augustus - is being shown as perfect. And that's why "Tim Currianus" is so awful. I've heard bad things about him (which probably aren't true) and will make up lots of over-the-top fake stuff.**

 ** _Gaius S. Bonus_ is _Johhny B. Goode_ in Latin. My brother (who's actually good at Latin) and I once rewrote all the lyrics to make them Roman-themed.**

 **And, like any Roman historian, I've got an 'angle' I'm going for when it comes to each person.**

 **Richard Brianillus is being portrayed as a great hero with godly heritage (being related to Apollo). Quinta Patricia is being shown as some sort of virtuous role model. The way Empress Livia was shown in propaganda, pretty much. Timon Currianus is a minor villain. I haven't decided on what Laurilla will be yet.**

 **By the way, Little Collie Lovett helped me research. I almost forget to credit her!**

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Soon enough - meaning after merely four weeks - _The Rocky Horror Show_ was transferred to the Chelsea Classic Cinema. That was a wretch of a place! 'Twas condemned, and falling apart. Yet the most courageous actors endured such terrifying conditions. It _is_ said by many that the show must go on.

Since the show was just a little one-act play, Apollo inspired Richard Brianillus to write two more songs. These songs – _Charles Atlas Song_ and its reprise – ensured it was long enough to be a proper two-act show. The monstrous ghoul that haunted the dismal Chelsea Classic Cinema didn't want it to be too short. He hated one-act plays and was in league with the incestuous fiend Timon Currianus.

Quinta Patricia was the one who thought of how to get rid of the ghoul haunting the Chelsea Classic Cinema. Like any horror, it could be banished by the power of Rock n' Roll. So Brianillus played _Gaius S. Bonus_ by Chuck Berrius. The ghoul was gone then. Both the other actors and the person who owned the theatre thanked Brianillus. As you'd expect, he still remained humble.

Anyway, the show sold out there as well. This was hardly even due to the divine influence of Dionysus. Though he _had_ secretly helped set it all up…

Soon enough it was decided that they'd transfer to stranger, newer territories. Most bravely they went to… the New World. Well, they were sort of invited. A being from across the ocean called Lou Adlerus (later Lou Adlerus Movenspictrus) appeared at and offered them much money. Though only Timon Currianus made the journey across the oceans and some land. The city was known as Angelos ('Angelus' to us) and the theatre called Roxane.

All the others stayed behind in Londonium. Much was going on at the Chelsea Classic Cinema! For one thing, the earliest thoughts of the Great Triumph happened then. Though what happened in Angelus is more important for now, I should think. Timon Currianus was the only person at Roxane who knew what they were supposed to be doing. So he explained to everyone else.

Among these new actors was a strange person called Breadman. He was fat, ugly, and played the role once played by Paddy Haganillus. Though, in the very least, he could sing in his own 'special' way. Even Currianus was probably sort of confused by his existence. His name had no meaning that could be decided on. Perhaps he couldn't remember. Such a theory is plausible, since he's sort of permanently stoned-looking due to many stupidity-induced head-injuries and the taken of drugs. Oh, the shame of having such a monster become part of _Fandomium RHPS_! Though Breadman is no longer very involved in the _Fandomium RHPS_ the way others are _._

The other 'new' actors were Grahus Jarvis as Narrator, Brucus Scotian as Riff Raff (who is rightfully played by Richard Brianillus), B. Millianus as Brad Majors, Hanessa Abigala as Janet Weiss, Kim Milforus as Rocky Horror, Donnilla as Magenta (and Trixie, of course), and Entenus Bona as Columbia. These people were not as good as the true actors, but actors all the same.

The show played from March 21st 1974 to January 5th of the next year (1975). It was a great success!

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In the cold, grimy, fiendish city called New York there's something called Broadway existed. This was a place very hard to conquer. Even the great and glorious Brianillus tried to. Alas, he failed. Just as Julius Caesar was unable to take Britannia, Brianillus didn't manage to conquer Broadway. His. But don't despair, _Fandomium RHPS_ , lesser actors later took Broadway. Just as Claudius the cripple later conquered Britannia! That was many years later, though.

In the Autumn of 1974, a major stage of the Great Triumph began: The _Filming_.

The cast changed _somewhat_ for it. Original Londonium actors played Riff Raff, Magenta, Columbia, and Frank (Brianillus, Quinta, Laurilla, and Currianus respectively). Dr. Scott and Eddie became separate roles, with ex-narrator Jonathan Adamus playing the former and Breadman playing the latter. The narrator was Charlus Cineruis - later known to some as Charlus the Neckless. Janet was played by a most political, ambitious fiend called Saranda Susilla (age). As we all know, Ambition is a most grievous fault. Like pneumonia – a sickness Saranda caught by being exposed to wetness, pool groping, rain, and lack of heating. This proves that she only has the physical appearance of a fish (not the love of water). Brad, on the other hand, was portrayed by the very tall Barrius Boswius (age 29). He stands 6'4" naturally, taller than Currianus stands when in heels. Though Currianus is, of course, quite short.

As was mentioned earlier many people from the original Londonium production ended up involved. This included and Brianus Thomus, Michael Albus, Richard the Lesser (also called Richard Hartlus), and Blamia Sue. Adlerus, from the Roxane, also became part of the project.

Like with any great Victory, things weren't all that easy. For one thing, poor Brianillus (aged 33) wasn't respected by the others despite being practically the reason it all began! The director most horrid – Sharmus, four years Brianillus' _junior_ – was most cruel and had them play a speech once spoken by Richard Nixus in one scene. This gave the timeless movie a set date. Still, the songs and script were glorious enough to overshadow this fault. And, like many things, it was later embraced by the _Fandomium RHPS_.

The virtuous, innocent Quinta Patricia (age 30) didn't realize that her character was in a rather incestuous relationship with her own brother. Such a thing is rather scandalous. This naivety proved Quinta to be a most admirable person. A prime example of how a proper young lady of the _Fandomium RHPS_ should act. Well, except for what she said when it was revealed most cruelly that she wouldn't get to sing _Science Fiction/Double Feature_. Though she indeed had a right to be quite pissed off. It was _her_ song. Besides that – and her habit of getting quite drunk, in a nice way, thanks to being of Irish descent (that's genetics, not racism) – she's a lovely woman. The Livia Augusta of _Fandomium RHPS_ , you see!

The filming took place during November and January. The weather was cold, perilous. Finally they went into post-production. The voice of Rocky Horror himself was dubbed by Trevor Albus (not related to Michael Albus). The infamous red Lips were filmed. Those Lips belonged to Quinta Patricia, who'd been cheated out of singing the Lips' song.

By the next Summer – August, to be more precise – the film was ready.

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 **Please Review!**


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